Most days I'm upbeat and determined to not let this crazy coronavirus pandemic and charged year get the girls or me down. I've worked hard to make things as normal as possible despite wearing masks, schedules being upside down, and everything so different for my eight-year-old twins, Sophia and Stella.
Most days I feel like I'm doing an okay job powering forward and making things okay for Stella and Sophia. The other day was not one of those days. It was more like an avalanche of 2020 being an endless hot mess.
Most days I feel like I'm doing an okay job powering forward and making things okay for Stella and Sophia. The other day was not one of those days. It was more like an avalanche of 2020 being an endless hot mess.
My amazing eight-year-old Stella has some anxiety traits and likes things a particular way. It can be certain clothes, certain foods, certain shoes, etc. I've read a ton of books and blogs, listened to podcasts, and so much more. Stella's hair is one of her things - she likes it a certain way for a stretch of time and then we'll switch to something else. Last year it was this swoop with hair gel that I then thought was so hard and I was constantly worried she'd lose her hair in the front. We are now on to an intricate bun with clips to hold up hair in the back and side curls. This latest hair style can take forever, or seems like forever, during the morning school rush.
The other day we had a bad start with the bun. I re-did the bun five times but Stella didn't like it. We argued and I kept trying to appease her (I know, this is what the books say not to do). I'm sad to admit we both yelled and it was just a bad moment. After the fifth time, I told Stella I had to go make breakfast and finish the lunches. She was in tears and so was I.
The other day we had a bad start with the bun. I re-did the bun five times but Stella didn't like it. We argued and I kept trying to appease her (I know, this is what the books say not to do). I'm sad to admit we both yelled and it was just a bad moment. After the fifth time, I told Stella I had to go make breakfast and finish the lunches. She was in tears and so was I.
When I got downstairs I made myself a cup of coffee. While the coffee was brewing, I tried to not cry. I thought about how upset Stella was, how bad I felt for her, and how I was so tired of the coronavirus pandemic and how all our lives have shifted in such a crazy way. I knew her being upset about the bun was probably about other things and I knew she couldn't help herself in that distraught moment. I also realized that what Stella and I were dealing with was so minor in comparison to what some of my friends are going through and the big challenges so many others are dealing with across the nation. As the coffee was brewing, I remembered a saying from one of my favorite CEO's, Janice Abraham from United Educators. Back in February - when the world was still so normal, she shared that it is important to put on your own oxygen mask first. You have to take care of yourself so you can take care of others. I breathed deeply watching my coffee pouring into my favorite mug (see picture above). The girls and I had gone to a pottery painting place last winter and I made this cup with the girls. There is a heart that they painted at the bottom of the mug. It was a great day together. I recomposed myself and took another deep breath.
I went and found Stella and gave her a huge hug. I told her I loved her and that we were going to do a re-start for our day, it was going to be a good day. I took the girls to school and they both had a good day.
I went for a walk while the girls were in school and it helped. I had a few minutes to clear my mind and regroup for the continued days ahead. So, to all the mommas out there that are having tough days, you got this. You can make it through this moment. Put on your own oxygen mask first. Take time for you. We are cheering for you and are here to help. xoxo, Meg
I went and found Stella and gave her a huge hug. I told her I loved her and that we were going to do a re-start for our day, it was going to be a good day. I took the girls to school and they both had a good day.
I went for a walk while the girls were in school and it helped. I had a few minutes to clear my mind and regroup for the continued days ahead. So, to all the mommas out there that are having tough days, you got this. You can make it through this moment. Put on your own oxygen mask first. Take time for you. We are cheering for you and are here to help. xoxo, Meg
P.S. If you need a little encouragement, here are a few favorites. Please note, you help support our Messy Mommies blog by shopping with our links and as an Amazon Associate we earn from qualifying purchases.
This is a great book with excellent insights and actions. Anxious Kids, Anxious Parents: 7 Ways to Stop the Worry Cycle and Raise Courageous and Independent Children
This is a great book with excellent insights and actions. Anxious Kids, Anxious Parents: 7 Ways to Stop the Worry Cycle and Raise Courageous and Independent Children
I really like this CBT Workbook for Kids which provides helpful information and activities for kids. I also appreciated how the information was organized into different segments (home, school, etc.)
Some holiday coffee so you can take a coffee break!
Because we have a long road ahead, you may need this wine glass too!
And finally, check out Cocktail Courier! Cocktail sets delivered to your house! I just ordered from Cocktail Courier which has its headquarters in Chicago and can't wait to make my Apres Ski Relaxer cocktail!